finding my voice

My friend Sarah and I were talking the other day and she was telling me that she and her son were reading a book together that happened to be about a missionary who went out and spread the word of the Lord. She said that he then asked her “how come you never do that?” She said to me “you know, he is right. I don’t go out there and preach the word. I surround myself with others who are believers and we talk about God and his amazing blessings…but I don’t go out there and just ask others if they know Jesus.” She told me her son’s words convicted her to go out and do something about that.

How beautiful huh?

It was.  So now as our conversation progresses I admit that I am guilty of the same thing. I will talk to strangers I meet about God but only if they say that they are believers as well. I have not actively gone out and put myself in a place of discomfort to spread the word of my Lord. If you come to me and ask me because you are curious about God, I will find you verses to answer your questions. I love to do that! Going out and just preaching??? Oh dear. I have never done that. Yeah starting to feel really bad here. I mean I really love God. I mean I REALLY LOVE GOD and I have not openly stepped out of my comfort zone to go out and share my love for God with others who may have never heard of God. Then Sarah asked me why. I really did not know. I said that I know I am never sure of myself in those situations. I am a chicken and I just don’t want to offend anyone. I hate controversy and we are back to I am chicken.  Her next question was ” are you unsure of  your faith?” Ouch. No not really, just chicken. I hate the thought of others not liking me just because I love Jesus. I don’t want to be made fun of either. Pretty much I am a big chicken with issues. Then she reminded me “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:10 KJV

Wow that conversation really did a number on my heart. I went home talked to my husband and really thought about it. I even then talked to my Bible study leader for quite a while about my chicken-ness. Why is it that I can feel so passionately about something yet be too afraid to go out and share my feelings with others? I should clarify that, others that I don’t already know and who love me.  My leader was really good at leading me to this answer: the enemy is holding me back. He is using my fear, feeding it, to stop me from serving my Savior. As she was leading me to this, I could see how it has been like that for my whole life. Always scared that I needed to be exactly what was expected of me by people, be it good or bad. I have always not liked that about myself. I want to be strong and just stand on what I believe. I want to be like my friend Debbie that just bursts with love for Jesus! She loves to quote the Bible to anyone who will listen, and even if you won’t. I want to be that woman. I am going to be that woman.

 

I have a fear of speaking to others about controversial things. I am going to schedule a time to go to our local city college and pray with girls who might be considering abortion. I will do that for sure next week. EEEKKK!! The 3rd is the National Day of Prayer. I am going, as usual, but I am going to be on the outside to be sure others can see me there and try to lead the prayers for my group. Double EEEKKK!!! I am going to make a point of at least once a week (to start) to talk to one stranger about Jesus. Triple EEEKKK!!!!

 

This is so outside of my comfort zone. Jesus does not want me to be comfortable. He wants me to serve.

Here is a verse that a sweet woman named Wendy reminded me of not even knowing what I have been contemplating:

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 KJV

 

Fear has torment. Fear is not of God. Perfect love is of God and that casts out fear.

How many times have I read this and not got it.

Maybe I was not ready to receive the wonder of the words.

Here is another that struck me this week:

1 Peter 3:14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.”

Maybe others are frightened to hear the Word of the Lord?

 

I will not be frightened to share His Word.

I will go with God.

I can do this.

No, I will do this.

I have been convicted.

 

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