My Moment with Dust

As I was curled up here on the couch early this morning, thinking about the Lord and my conversations with him, the sun began to slowly rise outside. It was beautiful. The sunlight crept up through the darkness and a glow of reds, oranges and golds began its leisurely climb across the sky. It made me smile. The light began to shine through our glass door and progressively a beam of light began to form in the room. Just as a small child, I was drawn to watch the small particles of dust drifting through the light. They just floated here and there with a random dust patterns. The heater  kicked on and the particles began to dance. Here I was witness to such a fascinating show, forgetting that it was happening like this around me every single day at every single moment. I just was not in a place to witness this all the time. It brought me back to Jesus. A message to share with my children today.

It reinforced the fact that the Lord is always with us. Just like the dust in the air, as a metaphor. We do not see the soot in the air. We do not feel the dust flakes in the air most of the time. We breathe in the bits of grime in the air with every life giving breath we take. We know that it is there, all around us every moment of every day,  yet we choose to not think about it. Then when we finally slow down, take a quiet moment of peace, catch a glimpse of the dust in the light and are reminded and amazed at all the little fragments that fill up the space we choose to see as empty. The Lord is always with us, more than their are  cinders in the air, He is with us. He consumes the space around us with His presence and His love! We may not be so privileged as to physically see Him or feel Him every moment, yet that does not take away from the fact that He is there! He is in every breath we take! He is in us and alive! We just have to realize it and look for Him. He never leaves us, ever. We just forget to look for Him sometimes in our lives,that are so filled with the hustle and bustle of keeping up with the “Jones Family”. We forget who and what is truly important. The Lord is the reason for living, not because the alarm clock went off and I have responsibilities. Like, the kids need breakfast, husband needs his laundry clean, I have a bible study to prepare for, oh darn we have to get to MOPS today! No, that is the extra fluff. That is just another opportunity to praise the Lord in a different arena For He will be with me as I make breakfast for the kids. Thank you Jesus for food to nourish my children. He is with me as I wash my loving husbands laundry. Thank you Jesus for such an amazing husband. Thank you for providing my husband with a job that I can wash his clothes for and a way I can serve him. He is with me as I prepare for bible study. Thank you Jesus for Your Word to guide my footfalls in life. He is with me at MOPS. Thank you Jesus for surrounding me with God loving women who want to worship you and raise their children to do the same.

I want to bask in my moments of sunshine with the Lord. They are just a tiny glimpse of what the Lord has in store for us in heaven. A reminder of the warmth of His love that was bought at a price, for me and you. Thank you Jesus for being with me always, even when I forget you are there. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being my light.

finding my voice

My friend Sarah and I were talking the other day and she was telling me that she and her son were reading a book together that happened to be about a missionary who went out and spread the word of the Lord. She said that he then asked her “how come you never do that?” She said to me “you know, he is right. I don’t go out there and preach the word. I surround myself with others who are believers and we talk about God and his amazing blessings…but I don’t go out there and just ask others if they know Jesus.” She told me her son’s words convicted her to go out and do something about that.

How beautiful huh?

It was.  So now as our conversation progresses I admit that I am guilty of the same thing. I will talk to strangers I meet about God but only if they say that they are believers as well. I have not actively gone out and put myself in a place of discomfort to spread the word of my Lord. If you come to me and ask me because you are curious about God, I will find you verses to answer your questions. I love to do that! Going out and just preaching??? Oh dear. I have never done that. Yeah starting to feel really bad here. I mean I really love God. I mean I REALLY LOVE GOD and I have not openly stepped out of my comfort zone to go out and share my love for God with others who may have never heard of God. Then Sarah asked me why. I really did not know. I said that I know I am never sure of myself in those situations. I am a chicken and I just don’t want to offend anyone. I hate controversy and we are back to I am chicken.  Her next question was ” are you unsure of  your faith?” Ouch. No not really, just chicken. I hate the thought of others not liking me just because I love Jesus. I don’t want to be made fun of either. Pretty much I am a big chicken with issues. Then she reminded me “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:10 KJV

Wow that conversation really did a number on my heart. I went home talked to my husband and really thought about it. I even then talked to my Bible study leader for quite a while about my chicken-ness. Why is it that I can feel so passionately about something yet be too afraid to go out and share my feelings with others? I should clarify that, others that I don’t already know and who love me.  My leader was really good at leading me to this answer: the enemy is holding me back. He is using my fear, feeding it, to stop me from serving my Savior. As she was leading me to this, I could see how it has been like that for my whole life. Always scared that I needed to be exactly what was expected of me by people, be it good or bad. I have always not liked that about myself. I want to be strong and just stand on what I believe. I want to be like my friend Debbie that just bursts with love for Jesus! She loves to quote the Bible to anyone who will listen, and even if you won’t. I want to be that woman. I am going to be that woman.

 

I have a fear of speaking to others about controversial things. I am going to schedule a time to go to our local city college and pray with girls who might be considering abortion. I will do that for sure next week. EEEKKK!! The 3rd is the National Day of Prayer. I am going, as usual, but I am going to be on the outside to be sure others can see me there and try to lead the prayers for my group. Double EEEKKK!!! I am going to make a point of at least once a week (to start) to talk to one stranger about Jesus. Triple EEEKKK!!!!

 

This is so outside of my comfort zone. Jesus does not want me to be comfortable. He wants me to serve.

Here is a verse that a sweet woman named Wendy reminded me of not even knowing what I have been contemplating:

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 KJV

 

Fear has torment. Fear is not of God. Perfect love is of God and that casts out fear.

How many times have I read this and not got it.

Maybe I was not ready to receive the wonder of the words.

Here is another that struck me this week:

1 Peter 3:14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.”

Maybe others are frightened to hear the Word of the Lord?

 

I will not be frightened to share His Word.

I will go with God.

I can do this.

No, I will do this.

I have been convicted.